Sunday, May 22, 2011

.i can't help you.

.little butterfly, what do you know of love?
the dark lace of your wings can't compare to the blackness of our hearts
You flit away from the eyelid as it opens
much like the dream that flickers beneath it, soon as you leave
You fly onto the palm that can crush you if it wishes
you fly away before it does
What do you want?

little butterfly, do you feel pain?
watching us revel in the acid rain that chokes you
But our pain is so much more intricate, we'll say
Yet I wonder
What makes your life pale so in significance
compared to one of ours?
Why not drain this world dry of its nectar for our material claims to emotions
and leave for you only that of our industries?
What do we want?

little butterfly, do you have emotions?
or are the patterns your dance creates just escape routes?
Do you know you're doomed, if you don't give in to our blood-lust?
When you hover around me, are you asking for help?
Maybe you could salvage a little shard of this
and keep it, it's what you're a part of

Then again
What do you know of love?.

.give me a name.make me real.

.Eyes that know my soul to its very core
but don't know it yet
They look too deep into it all and lose perspective
make everything beautiful in their own way
What they don't see

Lips that frame words not meant to be understood
because they're not for you
Words that build castles in the air
and tear them down because they're too real

And I watch helplessly as the weather changes
I'll make sense of it all, but only just
I paint you a sky, you'll leave it untouched
Your world is not for me

You may think I'm easily read
but you speak a different dialect
And you could write a thousand songs
to me they will be silent

A mind that knows I'll listen
but always tries to make me talk
All the right words, are the wrong words
I've said too much

A voice that whispers dreams into my ear forever
I hang upon its every word
So long as it's there, I won't have to wake up
I know when I do, I won't remember

Decipher the universe for me, feed this world I made up
Compare me to sunshine, draw me clouds of cosmic dust
Make me surrender, then tell me I've won
Play with foundations of trust

And I may think the world of you
but the world, it crumbles around us
The bridges that you build for me will burn before they've bound us

We'll stand on opposite edges of this realm and reflect
What will it be?
A soul tethered to the ground by a cloud
calls out to its pieces within me

The sun rises within your eyes and melts the static hush
Fire changes the world for us from black and white
Look for me in your dreams and ask yourself if I'm real, once you're awake
One of us will know how to complicate
Hypothetical is all we ever were, and I can't tell if you see the irony
I help keep things real for you, my escape from reality.

.Reunions and Cataclysmic weather.

.this world of ours has fallen apart
we live in the ruins held tightly to our hearts
what do we miss most?
nothing seems to have changed
we pursue the destinies the wrong turns we took led us to
the chances of way back then, caged

can't we live in the past?
i know that boy's grown up now
that girl is not the same
and another heart's been wound into this
but we still have the stories
and four lives isn't that long ago, is it?

those silly games we played
they'll be replaced by wars
whose side am i taking?
i don't want to hurt you
but i can't hurt them
hearts are not mine for the breaking

the dreams i turned to
they couldn't tell me what i had to see
i failed to realize that wishful thinking
wouldn't bring you back to me
the words in the night sky
fade away just like you did
we should've seen it coming
we wanted what they all forbid

can't we hope for a future?
i know it seems so pointless
what with our little constricting world
standing so still
and the rifts in our trust endless

the friends we once had
are now a distant dream, a lie
a disappointment that has left me numb
and devoid me of the will to try
but we still have the stories
and looking back in a while
four lives will be long ago, won't it?.

.flickers through city lights.

.memories of you come like stabs of pain
ebb and flow
fireworks in the night sky don't mean what they used to
they startle me

what about you? Are you hurting?
every time I think about how I'm over you
twenty-four hours later, I find myself wanting to cry
not like I cry for you, not that I want you back
just that every time I look to that place in my heart
the one that was taken by you
all I find is emptiness
and I want something back

what if I had answered that one letter differently?
I turn around and a spark of light catches my eye
caught by something that was once part of you
and once belonged to me
now it lies, collecting dust
i'll keep it with me tomorrow
i'll keep it under my pillow
you know I won't

I see a silhouette
leaning against a wall, his arm outstretched
he's wearing a navy blue hoodie, sleeves rolled up to the elbows
strong, tan arm, the silver kara, a red thread around the wrist...
Images. flashes of a similar arm
around me
turn away now. don't look. don't think. ugh, this sucks
slide shows with a dark-set background play in fast forward
every time something related to you invades my mind
all I need is a replacement for that space of yours. something that is hard to find

this doesn't feel like a me who was ever someone's lover
but I see flickers of the times I was
and I look into me to salvage that piece of me again
do we wish to know what we left behind?
the phrase "you complete me" comes to mind
but you never did
isn't that why we left?

and yet again, I reconfirm my theory
even though it was just to try and prove it wrong
memories. stabs of pain.
ebb and flow. I have to let go
but of what?.